The Monkey Café and the Extremely Complicated Coffee

An original fictional comedy from CyberMunkiez.

An order with chapters

Gus approached the counter and ordered a medium coffee in a large cup, with a small amount of foam and a confidently moderate temperature.

The barista paused.

“Milk?”

“Yes, but only enough to suggest optimism.”

Behind him, Milo stared at the menu and reconsidered everything he knew about liquids. Nina joined a different queue, then discovered it was the line waiting for Gus to finish.

At this fictional monkey café, breakfast had become a listening exercise.

Requirements change

The barista read the order back. Gus requested two adjustments, a clarification, and a moment to consult his notes.

He wanted the drink strong but gentle, smooth but interesting, and quick but carefully considered. Milo observed that these were also the requirements for their last three job advertisements.

Nina ordered tea. The café nearly applauded.

When Gus's cup finally arrived, it had his name, six abbreviations, and a small arrow pointing to another cup. The barista called it a collaborative beverage.

Gus photographed it from three angles. The foam gradually lost its ambition.

“Try it,” Milo said.

“One second. I'm documenting the experience.”

The honest review

By the time Gus took a sip, the coffee was lukewarm.

He frowned thoughtfully.

“Complex?”

“Cold.”

Milo offered to swap drinks. His order had been “coffee, please,” and it was still hot.

Gus tasted it. His shoulders relaxed. “This is excellent. What did you ask for?”

Milo repeated the recipe.

For the rest of the morning they talked about ordinary things. No one evaluated the mouthfeel of a biscuit. Nina finished her tea without producing a review.

On the way out, Gus bought a loyalty card.

He asked whether the tenth coffee came with unlimited customization.

The barista handed him a pencil and a very small space.

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